A Letter to My Son on His Birthday

Dear Jace,

I've been bawling thinking about this day.  Happy tears.  Sad tears. Big, fat mama tears.

As I clutch you close and rock you, I treasure every breath on my chest.  Nothing compares to this love I have for you.  Nothing in life has can compare to these moments.  My sweet baby boy.

I never knew I could experience this love. When I found out about you in my belly, I was so scared.  I did not plan on being pregnant and had many things going on that were complicating life.  Life still is complicated.  But God knew it was time.  He had you planned.  Every fiber of your body.  Every strand of hair on your head.

He knew you would be mine, and he knew I would be yours.  He so perfectly knitted you together in my womb and blessed me with health during my pregnancy.  I prayed for your health.  I prayed you would breastfeed easily.  And I prayed for that special bond and love I wanted to know more about.

I prayed God would teach me how.  How do I know what he wants?  How do I know when you are hungry?  Will I teach you what's right?  Will I help you discern what is wrong?

Will you love me?  The deepest desire of my heart. The special bond between mother and her son.  A bond that will last a lifetime.

So as I kiss you goodnight...I will always be your first kiss.

So as I wipe the tears from your eyes...I will always be here for you to cry on and to listen to you.

I hug you real close...I will always be there for you.

You, my sweet boy, will be a world-changer.  You have already changed mine.  In fact, being you mother has changed my perspective on everything in this world...for the better.

Your name means "healer" and "God is my salvation." You brought great healing to my body during pregnancy: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  You reminded me God is my salvation, my Rock and my Fortress...whom shall I fear?  You are my reminder of God's grace.  You are the reason I fight to be well, to take care of my body, to pursue health and happiness.

You, my son, are what is perfect and beautiful in this world.  Even with the unknown set before my path, I have what is known right in front of me.  My perfect son.  My miracle.  My hope.

I love you more than you will ever know.  Happy birthday my dear Jace.

Love always,

mommy


Comments

  1. That is the most beautiful letter I have ever read. Your a good mom. Now let me go wipe the tears from my eyes. Hugs

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